Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 598 - Cabin Fever

It's April 14th, and even though I know that cabin fever is something people typically get in the winter, I'm feeling antsy.

It's not the "I want to go out and be in the sunshine" kind of antsy, either.  It's the "I want to get the heck out of here" kind of antsy; the kind of antsy that one gets when they've been in one place doing the same thing over and over and over again for way too long.  It's like the little airplane gliders that the men with unusual accents used to peddle at the mall when I was a little kid.  They had their freedom because they could fly around the mall, diving in and out of crowds of shoppers, but they could only go as far as the radio controller's signal would go.  Once the signal died out, the plane crashed and risked being broken.

In a way, I feel like those airplanes.  I'm technically free to do what I want - I could go out tomorrow and buy a new car, rent an apartment, quit the Job from Hell and pretend like I don't have a care in the world.  That is, until that radio signal, a.k.a. life, comes back and bites me in the butt.  I need something to get excited about, something to look forward to, and most of all, something to get me away from the Job from Hell before I actually begin to believe that I'm back in high school again.  Not something I am chomping at the bit to repeat at this point in my life.

I wonder if it's just me feeling like I'm stuck in limbo between college and who knows what will come next, or if this is typical of a 24 year old to feel like you're there, you've made it - but not quite yet.  I feel like I'm playing a giant game of limbo right now, and as the bar is being lowered closer and closer to the ground, I feel more anxious with each passing day because, in my opinion, I don't know what the next day is going to bring.

Maybe I'm just over analyzing.  I have a tendency - scratch that, I have a very bad habit - of doing so.


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