Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 554 - Waiting By the Mailbox in the Mud

Today, as you are probably very well aware, is March 1st.

It is also the first day of "on March 1st or shortly after," which is when I am supposed to receive something about grad school admissions or - gulp - lack thereof.

Nothing came in the mail today, and I have taken to stalking the mail lady in hopes that a friendly envelope, the bigger the better, comes my way in the next couple of days.

For some reason, I feel unusually calm right now.  Despite having a really bad cold, I don't feel antsy, anxious, or on the verge of tears.

Well, okay, now that I've said I feel calm, I don't.  Once in a while, I feel that sense of panic rising in the back of my very sore throat, my pulse pick up, and that incredible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  What if I don't get in?  What if I'm stuck at Job from Hell for a third year after becoming a college graduate? 

Okay, I'm going to stop.  No need for a panic attack now.

Anyways, I'm hoping to hear something sooner than later.  I want to know.  I need to know.

More importantly, I need something, anything, to get me moving forward.  I feel stuck and I don't like being stuck.