Thursday, June 24, 2010

Day 306 - Part 2

Just an update: I found my eyeshadow palette.  My little little sister hijacked it and I found it when I knocked a purse off of our purse rack in our room. 

Now, the question is, do I approach her directly about it or do I just "miraculously" find it somewhere obvious, like under the bed or in a bathroom drawer?  I think we'll just wait it out and see how she reacts.  What was she going to do with it, anyway?


Day 306 - "So I Put My Hands Up"

I'm just going to set the record straight - I am not, nor will I ever be, a fan of Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, or whatever alias she is going by these days.

I am frustrated, though.  I've been tearing the house apart looking for something that I know I did not forget at Girls State last week, that has to be within the Anderson household, and will be extremely, extremely difficult to replace if I can't find it.   What is missing, you ask?

My eyeshadow palette.  But it's not just any eyeshadow palette - it's from Victoria's Secret, and it's special because it's a) part of a set, b) a part of a limited edition set that has been discontinued, c) the perfect colors for me, and d) it's one of the few pieces of nice, quality make up that I actually own.  Plus, the case is pretty.

You see, I got this eyeshadow palette as a Christmas present along with the rest of the make up set.  I had been enamored with the set since I saw it in Victoria's Secret's Christmas 2009 catalog, and when my mom (aka Santa) picked one up the day after Thanksgiving I was happy.  I don't wear cosmetics that often because I usually am too lazy or don't have the time to put the stuff on, so when I get excited about anything girly - whether it's shampoo, bobby pins, or eyeshadow - it's huge.  After I opened all of the make up on Christmas morning and oohed and aahed at the pretty colors, I told myself that this was going to be strictly for special occasions.  I bought the set its own make up bag and kept it in my room instead of in the bathroom with my sisters' stuff.

Well, I packed that same bag when I was getting ready to leave for Girls State because the program requires dressing up a number of times, and if I were to be the governor's floor mother again or be hob-knobbing with some VIPs in the world of Ohio and national politics, I wanted to look presentable.  I used my eyeshadow, I packed it up at the end of the week, and brought it home.  Before I left, I even made sure that there was absolutely nothing left in my dorm room.

And now I can't find that eyeshadow to save my life.

Erin and Katie have been sitting around today watching me go crazy trying to find it.  "What's the big deal," Erin said at one point.  "It's not like you wear make up anyway.  Why are you so upset over something you never use?"

Well, here's why:
1. My mother (aka Santa) spent quite a bit of money on it given that it is eyeshadow.  Money that could have been spent on something else.
2. I don't own much make up, so when something does go missing, I may not have anything to back it up.
3. Again, it's not available for sale anymore, unless I can find one on eBay, which is a little sketchy sanitation-wise.
4. The principle: it's mine, and I would like it back.

This may be a random post, but I felt like I needed to get this off my chest.  I mean, I would like to look nice when I do actually leave the house, and nice make up is expensive.  I'm just hoping one of my sisters isn't hiding it for fun - then, there may be some tears.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Day 283 - "And You're Tryin', But You Can't Hold On Anymore"

Well, I've had eight days to try to move on past the rejection letter.  It was a pretty hard gut shot to take, especially since I had been waiting for months for something, whether it was a letter or a smoke signal off in the distance.

As usual, I spent a lot of time last week thinking about what I could have done better.  Could I have reread that admissions essay one more time?  Could I have highlighted one more bullet point on my resume?  Could I, way back during my very first semester of college, taken that American Musical Theater class pass/fail so that my GPA broke the 3.5 mark? 

Or, as another wild thought I entertained convinced me, could I have been telling myself that this was the place I needed to be when I really wasn't being true to myself?

I've never been good at handling rejection when it's something that I really want.  I am my own worst critic's inspiration, beating myself down for every little thing that goes wrong.  It is never anyone else's fault; I'm too independent to admit that it could just be that things were not meant to work out this way and that there is somewhere bigger and better for me.  I just have to find it - fast.

So, for now, the plan is to apply to Kent State's higher ed administration program.  It's not my dream plan, but the plus side is that I can live at home, which saves me money, and I know people already in the program.  My sister will also be at Kent, so I know I won't be completely alone.

I guess that this rejection notice is some sort of life lesson.  When I was applying to colleges during my senior year of high school, I didn't get into my first choice.  As a matter of fact, the school that is now my college alma mater was my fourth choice school - out of the four schools I applied to.  But you know what?  Looking back, I don't think I would have been as happy at any of the other schools as I was at my alma mater.  Maybe there's a lesson to be learned from this, something that I'm too young and inexperienced to see at this point in my life.