Day 318 - "Toes Gripping the Edge, Staring Out At What Comes Next"

I checked my grad school application for Kent State a couple of minutes ago:

GRADUATE APPLICATION STATUS FOR KENT STATE UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OF EDUCATION, HEALTH, AND HUMAN SERVICES: DECISION MADE

Please contact admissions office for further information.

Sweet mother of all things good and holy, please let this just be a blip in the system.  If this is another we're-cutting-budgets-so-instead-of-using-paper-to-mail-a-letter-to-you-or-electricity-to-email-you-we-will-make-you-call-us rejection notice, it's the end of the road as far as grad school is concerned.  I can't afford the $150 to take the GRE.

I am literally scared like tomorrow will not exist for me.  I mean, this is it - we're over halfway through summer, I still don't have plans for the fall, and I am not the kind of person to fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to something big like this.

When it comes to deciding what I am going to wear on any given day, yes I will dive in head first without any plans, but this is something that requires the analytical, structured, organization-on-crack side of me.  I plotted, I planned, and having to wait until tomorrow in order to know any kind of information is making the grilled red skin garlic potatoes that I had for dinner do all kinds of flips and kicks and stuff.

I am really hoping that it is something somewhat simple, even as complicated as "we'll accept you, but all of our courses for the fall term are full so you'll have to wait to take classes until the spring term."  I can deal with that.  I can make plans with that, take some summer classes, and get caught up to graduate in the spring of 2012 - or not take summer classes and graduate with my sister in December 2012 (aaawwww, how cute!) and find something to do during the spring term while I wait for the 2013-2014 academic year to start. 

Side note - holy moley, look at those dates!

I'm really hoping that it's just the fact that classes are closed.  I can deal with that.  Dealing with another rejection notice and the realization that this is all over, on the other hand, I don't think I could handle.  Especially with the possibility of another year stint at Food Service Hell staring me in the face.  I need to get out.  I need this to happen. 

Please?  Pretty please?

-AA