Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 148 - "I Am Invincible"

I wasn't scheduled to work today, so I took a little trip to the Aurora Farms outlet mall to get my new watch fixed (it was a little snug.)  I got to sleep in and then hop in my car to drive forty minutes for a ten minute errand, all to make sure that I didn't void the warranty on my watch.  C'est la vie.

After I was finished in the store, I began walking around the outlet mall and I noticed how quaint it is.  All of the sparkly snow piles along the sides of the sidewalks, ice cicles hanging from the roofs, and a family of ducks quacking and waddling across the little pond.  I was the only one I could see out and about; everyone else was either inside one of the stores or probably at work or school.  I felt like I was standing in my own little town, with music lilting in the background and I was at the top of the hill, ready to go.

Ok, I was literally on top of a hill, but there was something empowering that happened.  I don't know if it was the sudden realization that I was out here alone and I enjoyed it, or if suddenly I had one of those moments where you fully realize the extent of how far you've come, where you're at, and where you think you're about to be. 

The scene ended almost like I was in a movie.  I was walking down the cobblestone sidewalk towards my car, the wind blowing back my coat behind me, and in the background are the song lyrics "I am invincible" are playing softly.  Major whoa moment right there.

Maybe something has clicked.  Maybe I finally stopped freaking out.  Maybe I just realized my confidence in my adult capabilities after some thought and conversation.  All I know is that I feel like the narrator in Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself," standing on the roof tops of the world, sounding a barbaric yawp for all to hear.


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