Day 453 - Boo On You!

I took the GRE yesterday.  Boy oh boy, am I glad that it's over.

AND I'm glad that the schools I am applying to do not require a minimum score on either section for admission.  According to the programs' websites, I just have to take the test - and I did just that.

I'm slightly frustrated with my results, though, frustrated enough that I'm not posting my scores online for the world to see.  I can only handle so much public humiliation in one go, and coming home and literally breaking down into near hysterics yesterday afternoon was more than enough for now. 

I will, however, share a few things about my GRE experience:

1.  My math score was higher than my verbal score by a lot.  By "a lot," I mean by over fifty points difference.  While I can't do calculus, I still remember everything they taught me in algebra back in eighth grade.
2.  I still stink at taking tests.  Can't I just write a paper instead?
3.  I am beginning to think that I don't know how to study.  After being an A student all through elementary, junior high, high school, and college, I finally met a foe that kicked my smarty pants @$$.  I made flashcards.  I took practice tests.  I did the practice problems in my study book.  I still (in my overanalyzer and overachiever opinion) bombed the test.  Maybe this smart cookie doesn't know how to study properly?
4.  Don't waste money on test prep materials.  My GRE-prep book caused me more grief than I probably should have had.  I'm contemplating burning it in our fire pit.

Maybe what that $160 test is trying to tell me is that I'm not supposed to go to grad school, but instead be doomed to a life of barely-above minimum wage jobs that make me perfectly miserable in a position that I am over qualified for.  Or maybe I'm just beating myself up over nothing, because after all, test scores are only a part of what admissions committees look at in a student.

Just a very large part.

I guess I just have to cross my fingers, make everything else in my applications rock, and hope for the best.  I really need this.  I keep saying that, but I have yet to find a way to express just how much I need out of my job from hell and into a place where I feel I can be me - complete nerd and all.

-AA